Fluid

I was soaked.

In the still ~
In the closed-eyes quiet time.
In the seeking ~
I was poured onto.
No umbrella. No raincoat.
Just me, standing to receive.
A vulnerable position.
Because when you stand in the waterfall, you get wet.

In the moment of stillness and seeking God's thoughts about who I am, there was a word He gave me in a list of words.

This is what He said about me, this is who I am to Him ~

~ dearly beloved        ~ sweet       ~ warrior       ~ princess

~ delightful       ~ courageous       ~ joyful       ~ hopeful       ~ brave

~ okay       ~ beautiful       ~ teacher       ~ dancer       ~ writer  

~ hope-giver       ~ precious       ~ daughter       ~ singer       ~ worshipper

~ fluid

Now, most of these words are feel-good words describing character.
Some of these words are words describing where my heart is.
And a few are describing abilities. (Although, I have to point out, I am very obviously NOT a dancer. So I think that one goes deeper than what we see when we see the word. My heart dances, my spirit dances. And, well, yes, sometimes my feet do too, but not what you would envision when one says they are a dancer.)
I digress.
I was sitting in the stillness one night and closed my eyes.
Who am I? Who am I to God?
And I waited for Him to speak to my heart.
I am learning (although slowly), about this thing called soaking. Sitting with God, in the quiet. Choosing to spend time with my friend and Father.
And so He spoke and I wrote down the words.
Just single words.
But when that last one came, my eyes popped open and I stared for a few moments after I recorded it in my journal.

FLUID?

What kind of word is that? How did that fall into my nice little list? What does fluid have to do with anything?

And so God, once again, sent me on a little journey.

What does fluid mean?

According to Google definitions, fluid "has no fixed shape and yields easily to external pressure". It is "likely or able to change".
I began to think of how great God is. How He chooses His words.
Knowing that I'm making an effort with a more fit and healthy lifestyle, He directed me to a definition that refers to fluid having no fixed shape. I laughed at first. It made me glad that as a side note, He told me that change is possible - losing weight, getting physically fit is doable. My shape can change! It's not impossible. That was the humourous side of the fluid word.

After my chuckle with God, He got more serious with me on this one ~

As fluid, I have no fixed shape ... I am not conformed to the ways of the world. I am not the shape of my sin. I am not the shape of the actions of other people. They do not define who I am. Sin - my own, and that of others - does not form me into a "fixed" shape. Unless I allow it.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2, NIV)

As fluid, I yield easily to God. He pressures me, but in a good way, with a gentle nudge, a loving embrace, a comforting word, and sometimes a tender reprimand. And I yield easily to that. I respond, knowing that He has my best in His mind and that in love, He guides and leads.
I believe. I follow.

As fluid, I am likely or able to change. Praise God! He doesn't leave me the way I am. As I abide in Him, I am changed. I am shaped into who He wants me to be. Who He created me to be.
Christ in me, causes change in me.

At the end of the word adventure of that evening, He spoke two sentences to my heart.
"Go and change the world. Be a grower and a sower."
As fluid, I can change.
And I can change the world. (In His power only!) Fluid pouring into the thirsty world.
In my own growing, I can then do some sowing. Plant some seeds in the hearts of others.

Pretty sure some watering needs to happen for things to grow when they've been sown.

So, there you have it. I love how God speaks words, how he understands my heart. How He pours into me.
One night when I was soaking, He gave me the word, FLUID.

Interesting.